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I Dreamed a Dream too!
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

I dreamed a dream too…a dream to live
I dreamed and dreamed and dreamed
I dreamt that life would be so easy
But it fell from pieces to bits in no time

I dreamt that living was easier
But fell again, deeper and deeper
What surrounded me was nothing
Yet the presence of nothing let me feel
Feel that something was still there
Left with me around…
I thought I lived, I felt alive!


My dream was no wine, no palace
My dream was no divine, no evil
I simply dreamed about being alive
A dream to live, a dream to be!
I was given a name!! Was it me?
I was to grow on….but why?
I was to perish…but why?
If it is to perish, how to live…?


I dreamed again, it was dark….!
I dreamed again it was light…!
I dreamed again it was neither…
Could it be…….?? I wondered!

Light was to perish yet it showed…!
Dark had to vanish, why to appear?
I wondered if life’s same..!
I dreamed again, I was alive!
I lived and so I dreamed…!
I lived and so I dreamed…I dreamed!
I woke up….felt around…
I got united with bits to pieces!
I dreamed from bits to pieces…
From bits to pieces I dreamed!!!

July 7, 2009 | 4:20 AM Comments  0 comments
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In Search Of God
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

"For something to have an end, it has to begin: but what of those which never began they just never end……………………" a person was giving his speech. I was just passing by, and a few words from him did interest me too. So I stood there, in the crowd being one of them, listening, as he proceeded.

"What God is there for being prayed for? Who God is there to be with us? Has anyone just seen God? I bet none has even heard God. Is he dumb, or what? We talk so much, how he could be so silent. For me, Gods are inventions of us, of our creative mind, a mere illusion created by ourselves just because of insufficiency of someone to blame upon when things simply go wrong…………………."

He kept on speaking, but my mind was blown away, somewhere else. I was getting confused everyday; every time that whether or not could God exist. I used to fight with myself for this. I did not want t think these things but I felt I was obliged to, as if an unknown force was forcing me for it, a path as if it was for me to live and walk. As I was thinking, I was suddenly disturbed by a stroke. Someone was asking something. I turned around but amazing…………..just…………..the….there was no one.

At that moment the person was speaking something strange. He was talking of dreams…………..
"The existence of Gods is proof less and lies just beyond the boundaries of dreams bound by the limits of thoughts and beliefs; sometimes appearing so real that our mind gets confused comparing dreams with reality unknown of what's real and what exactly is to be virtual. Gods, if we go to specific characteristics, are fools. Let I give an example; Gautam Buddha, he just gave up his life just to know how not to give it up……………"

He kept on speaking, but I heard something else too; something else from the murmurs of people and the speech. Somebody caught me and asked, "What's going on here?" The voice was commanding. I hardly could speak. But as I turned back there was no one again. Now this was being too much. Was I really dreaming or was there someone. I was getting completely disturbed and I thought that it was already late. So I moved on.

I came to my house and as soon as I entered my mother started scolding me, "Is this the time to come home, bla….. Bla……….bla………….."

That was enough for me. I went to my room and lay down. I was not hungry and though it was too early I had a will to sleep. I lay on the bed but couldn't sleep as if something was restricting me


from sleeping. The words came alive in my ears. I couldn't forget what the person had said.


My mind began wandering away. I thought of places floating in air, of Gods and heaven. I thought, could they really exist? Then I felt asleep.

That night I felt amazed. I had such wonderful dreams but I couldn't speak of them. They were beyond my verbal reach. Every time I tried to speak, it was as if my words disappeared within my mouth. It was as if I was wordless as if I was just speechless.

In the morning, I woke up. I ran out, washed my face and came in again. I opened the T.V. but unfortunately the T.V. line was gone. But then it came back to normal. The news was on; there I saw something that interested me solely.

I saw the man; the man who gave the speech yesterday. He had been caught and the news stated that all his followers are being searched and their photographs were shown there. Unbelievable among them one was
Mine. I was amazed and at the same time confused and worried I mean what had I done. But it was too late. People came down to my house and arrested me and took me away. I was hopeless. Everyone shouted and cried but all was useless. I just had done nothing. My only mistake had been to stand and listen to the damned speech. I became hopeless. Others had been caught too. Now we were taken to a religious centre and to the public it was announced that
"Those who raise their voices against the God, their tongue shall be ripped of away from their mouth and those who rise against the God, shall they be buried in their own ego"

I couldn't think anything. Everything was hopeless. We all were at such a strange place. I had never seen such a place before. It was filled with monks and nuns, priests and yogis, walls covered by idols and rooms filled with those strange peoples. The place was peculiarly strange. Life there was completely different and we were to be a part of it.

Few of the people, did rebel against this act and they were carefully spotted out and right there in front of us they were slaughtered mercilessly in the name of the almighty: the God. I thought to myself "what God would such things as slaughtering in his name. It's just insane."

Since that day we were daily preached of God and his heavenly deeds and supernatural powers. If anybody spoke against it, it was already shown what would happen, so nobody dared to speak. We were forced to believe in the existence of God. We were preached,

“God is incorporeal, divine, supreme, infinite mind, spirit, soul, principle, life, truth and love.”, each a fact that we couldn’t deny. Everything that couldn’t be defined was named God. And now these type of manners were making me angry moreover forcing me simply not to believe in God, but something within me was fighting against my thoughts forcing my belief as if it were a part of my life as if I couldn’t live without it.

Everyday was passing on like that. The person who gave the speech was already dead and the rest couldn’t raise their voice. But one day something happened, a tremor was felt on the earth.

The monks and the priests, they all believed it to be a warning from the God; they thought that God was angry and began preparing to save all from this wrath. All were busy in that and one day, we all fled away from these though unknown where we could go, it was better than this we thought. But by mistake I was left alone in the forest, saying simply I was lost in the forest. I had to move alone though I didn’t know where to go or what to do. I couldn’t go back as my life was dear to me and neither could I go further unknown of the way.

I thought that these all had happened to me for my will to move on in search of the almighty. But I did not wish it to be this way. I wanted others to hear what happened though they might not exactly believe in me. Yet I was determined to find my answer “Were Gods there?”, yet I was confused.

Then again I heard someone speak to me, a soft and tender voice, same as I had heard on the road during the speech. I looked all around but I found no one. It spoke to me, it asked
“What’s the matter?”

I was afraid but my body was firm as if my mind was already aware of “who it was?” Then I felt, the voice came from within me. I heard it, it was no mistake, but id did come from me and I was sure of it. It was not the voice of God, it was my voice, and it was the voice from my inner self. It was the voice of my belief.

And it gave me the answer to my question,
“God is truth if you believe and God is faith if you possess.”

I somehow did manage to get out from there, learning two great things,
“Firstly never stand on the road listening to any unknown’s person’s speech.”
And second and a very important thing I learnt was,

“God is never to be found if searched for, for God is truth if you believe and God is faith if you possess”

“I never found God but he might have found me. Who knows what God is likely to be!”




BY:- ASHISH BHANDARI

November 3, 2008 | 3:33 AM Comments  1 comments
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A DREAM
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

Ouch! you fools! I'll kill you fools; away you go
I touch you my angel...... bloody scorpions.......... they sting
I kiss your wrist, I kiss your lips......... a snake bites me
I fall over a cliff and die; wake another morning

November 3, 2008 | 3:32 AM Comments  0 comments
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MODERN NEPAL...........OR IS IT SO......???
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

Doubt waits everywhere. Everywhere I go, suspicion is what waits! I cannot even blackball the fact how they have bewitched the so called Modern Nepali society. Politics; a term, a subject it has become of confusion, conspiracy and bribery. Belief, faith and trust have long lost their way in a deep maze of doubt and chaos. Well somebody once said, “When you are in doubt be silent”. But even silence is suspicious here.

Everywhere, the talks of the constituent assembly, election, 7-party alliance, the Maoists and so on and on and on. Suddenly from nowhere something happens, prices raise and the talks change, talks raise to rage, to demonstrations and rally, murderous conspiracy, hoax, plots and traps they all take birth and so called the modern citizens fall under the traps knowing not what they do, where they go! Our country has become a doodle; a doodle whose meaning is a restless one, you can do anything. Everyone has their own way of expression yet expressing nothing.

Sweet talks and sweets, people are after them, not after their future. People are completely void of this thought. “Too many cooks do have spoiled the broth” in our country, nothing is stable and yet no one is to blamed for mistake is of all. No proper co-operation, no proper relation exists between people as well with the government and who is to be blamed, well no one. But yet each blames the other and keep watching; doing nothing as if nothing has happened; doing bloody nothing.

Government tax and revenue disappears as if an illusion, loans and donations vanish as if by magic and in prestige comes more hoax and conspiracy within. All eyes have been blindfolded one way or the other, all ear dumb, people feel themselves but fail to feel the unity. Hands are cut before they are joined, eyes poked before vision, tongues cut before words pronounced, fingers sliced and chopped before raised, legs broken before steps, hearts attacked before feelings, brains tumor before thoughts and even water and air poisoned with fear and doubt. It is all that remains: fear, doubt and chaos, yet people forget to think again though they know, but consulate themselves with blames to the rest. This is Nepal or should I say, Modern, Liberal, Free, New Nepal or………………….is it so?

November 3, 2008 | 3:30 AM Comments  0 comments
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Are Gods Real
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

"For something to have an end it has to begin but what of those which never began, they just never end। And so is the condition of Gods right now. Their existence lies bound within the boundary of beliefs and thoughts but never reality."

I had always dreamt of Gods, always believing them but situations have just changed with the passing of the time known to be so precious। When I was just smaller than I am right now, it was always like……………"Oh God! I wish this would happen." or "Oh God! I wish that would happen." and so on but now I knew that those wishes were never to come true.

I mean, nobody has ever seen them: I mean Gods or felt them or anything else related to them has been ever known or noticed। It is just said that they are everywhere or we can say this scientifically or literally that Gods are thus said to be cosmopolitan and unseen in nature in nature, but why? Has their greatness made them so shy to hide or we could say something else which feels to be sensible and almost sure that they never began.

Actually, as I think, Gods; who are they? The only things that we know about them is the rumors and facts or say tales that compel themselves to be uncertain and unsatisfying driving the proof of existence of Gods towards uncertainty. Right now, the time has come so that the existence of God cannot be accepted but has to be a strict factor to be denied which is also compelled to be so uncertain that it cannot be turned out to be true.
Well as far as it concerns me, I think the appearances and facts appearing to be aside to prove the existence of God are the result of the mere illusion created by the outstanding imaginative creativity of the human mind due to the feeling of insufficiency of someone to blame upon when something goes way wrong।

Hence, the fact for the existence of god although proof less, lies bound within the limit of thoughts, beliefs and dreams and they appear so real as in the case of the humans' super creativity when the human mind compares its dream with reality being confused of what is real and what else could exactly be virtual। In my own words it can be finally thus expressed as," Everything that is cannot be always real unless truth tends to pull it and thus even a false can be considered as an unreal truth।"

November 3, 2008 | 3:23 AM Comments  0 comments
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